Online nowMissbliss
Aryn is a 27 year old woman in a relationship from Anchorage, Alaska, USA.
Likes 360 pages, 7 videos, 91 photos359 fans • Received 36 reviews
Member since Oct 16, 2006
Music~ 1. An art of sound in time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, harmony, and color. 2. The tones or sounds employed, occurring in single line (melody) or multiple lines (harmony), and sounded or to be sounded by one or more voices or instruments, or both. 3. Musical work or compositions for singing or playing. 4. The written or printed score of a musical composition. 5. Any sweet, pleasing, or harmonious sounds or sound. 6. Appreciation of or responsiveness to musical sounds or harmonies.

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I am in a most negative mood right now.

Had some old memories brought up that didn't make for the nicest imagery and I didn't even realize it untill now. I'm thinking now that this memory has a lot to do with my issue with men, it would have been my first negative male influence. And it seems incredibly rediculous but this is all something that has just come to light just now.

I had a friend when I was younger. He was my best friend. I can honestly say he was my best friend. He was my safe place from the age of 6-12. I wanted to share everything with him & he always could make me smile. Always. I remember in particular laying with him in our tree fort in the back yard around fall time and watching all the leaves fall. For some reason I was in a bad mood and all he wanted was for me to smile & I wouldn't. So he sat there just looking at me till I smiled. It was such a warm and loving friendship. It never mattered what i said or what I did he loved me for who I was regardless.

The friendship ended quite abruptly once we went into junior high. Boys & girls couldn't be that friendly any more without there being a label present. It was one of the 1st few days of school and I remember going up to his table in the lunch room excited to talk to him about everything that had happened that morning and his friends started making fun of me for something. He didn't stand up for me. The look on his face was so, foreign to me. It was like I didn't even know him. It hurt. A lot.

I don't think I've ever talked to anyone about that. And doing so now kinda brings tears to my eyes lol That's so weird that sharing that memory would do that lol

The last 5 years for me have been pretty turbulent as far as the men in my life go. It's been hard to find someone who is just willing to be my friend without expecting anything in return, such as a relationship or sex or something of the like. Having had that comfort as a child with a few male friends is definitely something I miss these days. I am so scared now to get into anything with anyone, a relationship or otherwise for fear of what it might or might not turn into.

<3!